she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
