just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
