you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
two words: eviction party
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
