Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so let's talk penis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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