i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
