It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
