Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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