she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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