she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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