If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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