I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
