I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
