why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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