And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
