Soap is not a condiment
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
