Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
