Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
