Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
