I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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