slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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