just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
