so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
