Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
