Christians are straight up FREAKS
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
