There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize