is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't turn off my feet"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
