i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
