Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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