Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
