Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
