I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
