So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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