Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
