Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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