If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize