You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
