I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize