he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
