i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
