Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
