fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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