i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
