By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
