We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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