Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The adults are the big ones right?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
