There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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