Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
