I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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