I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
