i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
