3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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