I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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