Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
