It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just pee around me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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