My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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