please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
