The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
