I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize