Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
