I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
