Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
