is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize