In America we eat man semen.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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