i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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