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Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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