just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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