She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
