I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
