I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
