Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
