we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
