Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize