ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
