everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
