so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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