I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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