he wants to bone in the snuggie
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
