Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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