That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
