Do vagina's smell?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
