If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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