Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize