ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
