I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
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